“The Maida Vale Mummy” sees St. Cyprian and Gallowglass confront some decidedly risible Roman remains in a Maida Vale wine-cellar! It was first published in 2013 by Artifice Comics in issue 11 of Bento Box, which is available via the publisher.  It is also available in audio format. Excerpt below cut.


“No, I’m afraid I can’t do that,” the intruder drawled. He tilted his head to peer past Gladstone at the coffin. “Lead, is it? Likely mined from the Mendips, somewhere on what’s now the border between England and Wales. And the scallop shell motif is definitely Romano-Celtic, if I know my funerary box decorations. Quite a common design, though I daresay what’s in the box is quite unique, isn’t it?”

Gladstone licked his lips nervously. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Who are you? Why are you here?”

“I’m here for the box, chum, and its grisly contents. You’ll get no more use out of your dead friend there, I’m not sorry to say. And the name is St. Cyprian. Charles St. Cyprian, Royal Occultist. Perhaps you’ve heard of me?”


“Oh,” St. Cyprian said, nonplussed, “What, really?”

“No,” Gladstone said. “If you don’t leave, I’ll call the police.”

“No. I daresay you won’t,” St. Cyprian said. “Not with that coffin in your quite well-stocked wine cellar—that Merlot on the third shelf to the left is mislabeled, by the by.”

Gladstone flinched. “What do you know about it?” he said.

“Which—the Merlot or the mummy,” St. Cyprian said.